This is such a great post but I loved this part best:
"There is a time and a place that I want to know more, and no amount of Facebook updates is going to placate this curiosity. Perhaps this a function of my generation, but there are two defining moments for me in the getting-to-know-you phase of a relationship:
#1 Can you talk shit? I'm not talking bland sarcasm, I'm talking about a full court comedy offensive that demonstrates not only that you are aware of your surroundings, but you have a gift for improvisation and the courage to use it.
#2 Where's your bookshelf? It's this awkward moment whenever I first walk into your home. Where is it? Everyone has one. It might not be huge. It might be hidden in a closet, but in decades of meeting new people, I've never failed in finding one and when I do I consume it.
See, I don't really trust you until we talk a little shit and then I see your bookshelf."
Sent from my brain telepathically.